Sh*t Guard Instructors Say
So, I realize the Sh*t People Say trend is kind of over, but I just saw this one and couldn’t help but post it. Too relevant to my life right now. If you choose not to watch it, listed below are some of the gems I extracted that could have just as easily come out of my mouth as they did out of this video. Enjoy guardies and remember, it’s all in good fun.
"I really want to do that Imogen Heap song, ‘Hide and Seek’…but, I mean I would do it right, not like the other 85 guards who did it."
"You know, I think Mia Michaels would really appreciate my vision."
"Okay, this is the East Coast, you better learn how to spin."
"And 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 6th…"
"You can die tomorrow. You have 20 more counts to learn."
"Jesus Christ Almighty it’s on 7. Se-ven."
"It’s not that hard. You throw a 6, you turn around, you go on the floor, and catch it behind your back. Not difficult."
"This isn’t a free arm."
"Okay, we can not have her on the 50."
"Hey, so did everyone eat a block of cheese before the show because if you were going for the constipation performance look it was great."
"I didn’t say smile like you’re getting an enema."
"Ooh, she is a hot mess."
"All I’m saying is if you’re going to design uniforms for a colorguard, you need to take everybody’s body type into consideration."
"Watching this flag feature is giving me mono."
"You know if you take the amount of hours that I spend with those kids and divide it by what they pay me, I’m really only making like $2.30 an hour when you think about it."